“Catwoman”

By David DiCerto
Catholic News Service

NEW YORK (CNS) -- Even if you had the added advantage of living nine lives, you would be hard-pressed to find a more conspicuous marriage of A-list talent and B-movie schlock than the slick but soon-to-be-forgotten "Catwoman" (Warner Bros.).

The first red flag comes as early as the opening credits; viewers should always beware of any film whose director pretentiously goes by only one name, in this case, Pitof. Pile on a limp script full of clumsy dialogue and choppy action sequences and Warner Brothers is left coughing up a $100 million hairball.

Loosely inspired by the comic-book character created by Bob Kane, Pitof's Catwoman bears a name-only relationship to the feline femme fatale who first appeared in the pages of Batman comics during the 1940s. Since then, her slinky cat suit has been filled by the likes of Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt in the campy 1960s' "Batman" TV series, as well as by Michelle Pfeiffer in Tim Burton's 1992 "Batman Returns."

In the new movie, however, the filmmaker has jettisoned all of Catwoman's "Bat" baggage, giving her a new identity and even a change of address, from crime-ridden Gotham to the equally fictitious Lake City.

Halle Berry plays Patience Philips, a mousy graphic designer working for Hedare Beauty, a cosmetic conglomerate run by the demanding and corrupt George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) and his past-her-prime, ice-queen wife, Laurel (Sharon Stone), recently dethroned as the company's spokesmodel.

Patience -- which is exactly what you need to sit through this kitty litter -- is killed after she discovers a dark corporate secret about Hedare's new fountain-of-youth cream.

But in a scene lifted from Burton's Bat sequel, Patience is revived by a mysterious cat using puss-to-puss resuscitation and she is endowed with supernatural powers, including felinelike agility, senses and stealth. She also finds herself experiencing sudden mood swings, vacillating between sheepishness and self-confidence.

Frances Conroy plays an enigmatic former college professor who fills in some of the blanks regarding Patience's rebirth. As it turns out, Patience is one in a long line of women throughout history who have been chosen (by whom remains unclear) to be liberated from the "prison" of societal mores. The explanation remains vague and includes references to Egyptian cat-goddess cults and is laced with feminist mumbo jumbo about the "duality of women."

Patience dons a skintight latex outfit and unleashes her newfound feline fury on her murderers, taking time out to rob a jewelry store when a cat-claw diamond necklace catches her eye. Of course, this complicates her burgeoning relationship with a hunky cop love interest, Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt).

Comic-book purists may find themselves up in arms over the changes to and politicizing of the Catwoman lore. Parents may be equally alarmed by the film's hyper-sexualized reconceptualization of the character, which makes Pfeiffer's leather-clad lynx seem almost virginal. Of course, Berry, cracking her whip as she prowls around in a belly- and bust-baring dominatrix get-up should work like catnip on the film's intended male audience.

Parents may also find the movie's moral ambiguity problematic, specifically the blurred distinction between right and wrong. Apparently "catwomen are not contained by the rules of society," as Conroy's character says.

Viewers looking for character depth along the line of the far superior "Spiderman 2" will be sadly disappointed. Though Pitof displays an undeniable visual flair, the characters in "Catwoman" remain as two-dimensional as the comic-book pages from which they sprang.

Berry fills the title role purrrfectly. Stone also seems to make the most of her take-the-money-and-run performance, especially during her climactic catfight with the feral feline.

Still, as far as summer popcorn movies go, "Catwoman" is hardly the cat's meow.

Due to recurring stylized violence and an implied sexual encounter, the USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is A-III -- adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 -- parents are strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

* DiCerto is on the staff of the Office for Film & Broadcasting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.